You Won't Win!
by Fallen Maiden Of The Boundary
Summary: A selection of drabbles featuring the boys of the Naruto series and some OC's of my own! OC/Various! Rating may change.
1. Itachi Uchiha

So many people have done this, it's true. But I thought I would give it a shot. Pairings will be with OCs, folks. Oh, and expect a teensy bit of fluffiness. Can't have a good story without some laughs and smut ^^; I will warn you if the chapter does contain some inappropriate things in then beforehand. ^^ Characters are also OOC. Because if they were in character, then it wouldn't be any fun :P

Anyway, these drabbles are based around the OC and the paired character battling for something. You'll understand as the chapters fly at you. XD

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><p>First Victim ~ Itachi Uchiha ~ (No fluff, just friendly rivalry)<p>

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><p>"Oh c'mon! You can't possibly be that naïve!"<p>

"Naïve? Look who's talking."

"WHAT? I'll have you know I am _very_ mature for my age!"

"And what age might that be? Two?"

"…You're blind!"

Things were always like this between us. We were always bickering; everyone else referred to us as 'the old married couple'. I didn't mind that. People seemed to notice me more when I was arguing with Itachi. Well, it was kind of a one-way argument. When the person you were arguing with never really _argued,_ then it couldn't really be considered an argument. Which was a real shame.

"Blind? Then how come I see a complete and utter idiot standing right in front of me?"

"Hey! Don't talk about Tobi that way!"

"I wasn't talking about Tobi. You looked in a mirror lately?"

"…You look like an old man!"

No matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to win the fights we had. He always seemed to have some quick response; some witty remark that left me stumped.

"An old man? I'm younger than you."

"BY TWO FRIGGIN' DAYS, ITACHI! TWO DAYS!"

"Then wow…life must really be hitting you hard. You look like a pensioner."

I lashed out him, screaming profanities at his retreating form.

"DAMN YOU, UCHIHA! I'LL WIN ONE DAY! JUST YOU WAIT!"

"Really? I don't see that happening anytime soon."

"I'LL GET YOU! I WILL!"

"That's it. Foster your hatred for me."

"I'M NOT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, ITACHI! I'M NOT GAY!"

"…What?"

This caused me to stop dead in my tracks. I sick smile spread across my lips, and I snickered.

"…You mean you don't know? Oh, dear lord! You mean no one has told you?" I asked, feigning shock. He walked over to me, his eyes staring at me curiously.

"…Told me what?"

"…You're kidding right? Itachi; _everyone_ in the Akatsuki knows!" I sighed, waving a dismissive hand at him.

"Knows what?"

Is he serious? He hasn't figured it out yet? My god; this opportunity is just too good to waste!

"Well, why don't you go and ask people? Like…Deidara or Kisame? Y'know…people like that. I'm sure they'll tell you," I suggested, nearly bursting out into laughter when he simply nodded, and walked off.

"Me: 1 Itachi: 0!" I whispered, giggling as I sprang off in the opposite direction; dying to tell everyone my new accomplishment. I had beaten Itachi in an argument.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed!<strong>

**Next Victim ~ Deidara ~**


	2. Deidara

Sorry for not updating! I was planning on updating this sooner, but schoolwork and studying got the better of me! But anyway, without further ado, here is the second victim for 'You Won't Win!' Note: this drabble may have some inapproproate themes, if you consider how Deidara makes his clay wet enough for him to mold being an innapropriate thing. Personally, Deidara's extra tongues freak me out. I still have nightmares. ^^;

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><p>Second Victim ~ Deidara ~ (A little bit of innapropriate-ness, but you'll live with it)<p>

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><p>"Why can't I keep it?" I grumbled, glaring at my partner in crime.<p>

"Because it'll explode, you idiot! Hm!" my partner growled back; his single silver-blue eyes trying to pierce my gaze. I held my ground; no way in _hell _was he going to intimidate me!

"Only if you _make _it explode!"

"WHY ARE YOU SO HELL'S BENT ON KEEPING MY ART!"

"Because...it's cute!" I chirped happily, grabbing the clay bird out of Deidara's hands, and skipping off down the cobbled path. I glanced back, to see Deidara throwing me an evil smirk. I glared at him; I knew what he was planning.

"Don't you dare make this thing blow up, Dei-Dei!" I yelled, not bothering to wait for him or listen to his moans about my nickname for him. He deserved it when he acted like a total jerk and wouldn't let me keep his explosive masterpieces. I found them incredibly interesting. And funny to watch. Especially when they exploded.

I turned, and began to twirl a little on the spot, expecting his to at least throw an explosive spider or something at me. I knew how much he hated his nickname.

"...Hey! I forgot to tell you something! Hm!" Deidara's voice called out, and I glanced back at him, to see him smiling cockily at me.

"What?"

"...You do realise how I make my art, right?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"You mold it," I answered half-heartedly, paying more attention to the little clay bird that I held delicately in my hands.

"Yes. But...I have to make the clay _wet _before I can mold it. Do you know how I do that? Hm?" he asked, and my eyes instantly darted to his crotch. I had a theory, and was willing to share it, even if it cost me my sanity and pride.

"Well...does it include-"

"No. It has nothing to do with my penis. Hm," he answered stubbornly, and I grumbled incoherently. Darn. I was so sure that I had been right about that...Oh well, back to the drawing board!

I glanced back to the bird in my hands, and then back to Deidara. I glared at him as an amused expression flickered across his face. No doubt he was imagining the gears turneing in my head, trying to figure it out. It was then that I caught something; just in the corner of my eye, but I caught it no less.

Realisation hit my like a bomb. A bird-shaped bomb, if I was to be precise.

My eyes travelled down to Deidara's hands. I waited, and finally cringed when one of his extra tongues lolled out of his palm. I shrieked, and threw Deidara's 'art' to the floor.

"Ew! You...you LICK clay?"

Deidara's hands lifted, and I cringed as his tongue was put on full view for me to see. The pink muscle wriggled, and I was forced to look away. It seriously creeped me out.

"...Yeah," he murmured, inspecting his hand, his eyes darting backwards and forwards between his hand and me. He was enjoying this; the jerk!

"That...that's GROSS!" I yelled, stomping away from him, wanting to be as far away from him as possible. I knew I would never look at Deidara the same way ever again.

"Oh c'mon! How is me _licking _my clay worse than me masturbating over it?"

Yep. I would never look at him the same way. Ever.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed! Please review!<p>

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><p>Next Victim ~ Kakashi Hatake~<p> 


	3. Kakashi Hatake

Hey guys! I had the house to myself, so I decided to write another one of my drabbles! Anyway, without further ado, here it is!

Third Victim ~Kakashi Hatake~ (student/teacher flirtiness, If you consider that a good thing. Read KakaSaku fics, then you'll understand XD A little fluffy. Implied smut at the end ^^)

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><p>"AAHH!" I screamed, dashing through street after street; the stolen object clutched tightly against my chest.<p>

"You can't run forever! Give up!" the deep voice behind me growled, and I responded with a wordless shriek, before picking up the pace. He was dangerously close.

"NEVER! YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FI-"

My challenge was interrupted by me crashing into someone. A very tall someone.

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"my gaze rose to the person's face, and my eyes widened in shock.

"H-How did you…?" I stuttered; yelling a little as I was lifted up by his comrades. My captor strolled over to me; the smugness practically radiating off of him. He took my chin in his hands, forcing me to look him in the eye. I gulped, and tried to avert my gaze. Fat load of good it would do, but I still tried.

"You can't escape me. Now…give it back," he murmured, and I did my best to glare at him.

"No…Sensei," I growled, thrashing around in his comrade's arms. The stolen item then chose that point in time to fall out of my coat, and land with a muted thud on the floor.

"…Fuck my life," I grumbled, my limbs going limp. I had failed my mission. There was no need for me to fight anymore. My former sensei bent down; his eye never leaving mine as he picked up the stolen object; pocketing it quickly before releasing his jutsu. His Shadow Clones dissipated, and I fell to the floor; the breath getting knocked out of me.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" I growled, glaring at my sensei. Suddenly he was behind me; his breath tickling my ear. I shivered, and blushed a little at the close proximity between us.

"Did someone set you up to this? Or did you act on your own?" he murmured, his voice lowering until it was little more than a whisper. I gulped, and averted my gaze to the floor, saying nothing.

"If you won't tell me, I will have to force it out of you. And I must warn you; I'm very good at persuading people to leak info…" he whispered, his gloved hands trailing down my back. I shivered again, my face turning a bright shade of crimson.

"I'm sure you are…'Casanova'," I remarked sarcastically, earning another brush of his fingers, this time down my sides.

"Oh? What's with the sarcasm? You know it's true…don't you?" he murmured, and I gasped as I felt his tongue glide over my neck. He had taken his mask off.

"W-What are you d-doing?" I yelled suddenly, lashing out at him. Of course he was prepared, so I wasn't surprised when I turned to see my sensei with his mask back over his face, grinning his cocky grin.

"Grr…Damn you, Kakashi-sensei!" I hissed, trying my hardest to get free of his arms that had now encircled around my waist.

"Heh…well…I've grown bored of this…what do you say that we…go back to my place and have a little 'fun'?" he murmured, and my eyes widened in shock.

Surprisingly, he hadn't seen it coming when my fist collided with the side of his face, and he went tumbling backwards.

"You …you…PERVERT! I'm 18! You're my teacher! It's so-"

"Disgusting? Then why, my dear student, did you steal 'Make-Out Paradise' from me? You're at the legal age to buy that kind of material now, so why did you steal _my_copy?" he asked, and I face palmed.

"…I wasn't planning on reading it, dumbass. I was trying to get it away from you, so you would pay more attention to training us!"

"Yeah…that's what they all say. They try to hide it, but I see it in their eyes. The _hunger_ for knowledge."

"Ugh…you're a sicko."

"Thank you. I will take that as a compliment. Besides," he paused, his hands grabbing mine and tugging me to my feet, "this book has taught me _many _things…"

I attempted to pull my hands out of his, but to no avail. It was like being caught in a vice. A warm vice. A warm handsome vice.

"So…what do you say? As your punishment, I'll have to give you some 'discipline', won't I? And what better way to do that than extra 'lessons'? I'll pass on my ever-growing knowledge to you…" he whispered, brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

"Uh…I…err…" I stuttered, my thoughts becoming jumbled. Had my sensei really just asked me to…? Yep. Apparently so.

In the next moment I was over his shoulder, and we were speeding towards his home.

"So, uh…what are we exactly gonna _do…_?"

"Hmm…crimes against 'Make-Out Paradise' are serious…I'll have to use my imagination…but I'm sure you'll love it, either way," he chuckled, before picking up the pace.

Oh dear god. This was gonna be a long day.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed! Sorry to finish it so abruptly, but I really didn't want to drag it on for too long! Oh, and speaking of dragging, here is the next victim! PLEASE REVIEW!<p>

Next Victim ~Shikamaru Nara~


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